No, I am not a Covergirl or quite frankly, no where near being a covergirl. What is a Cover Girl? A girl under a blanket all the time? A girl with a bag on her head? A girl on the cover of a magazine or cereal box? Life as we know it, it is a girl who wears Cover Girl makeup and runs around all pretty like in the wind or rain or snow or tornados, looking stunning in her makeup telling us how great we too can look in the weather conditions if we wear it. I just want to let the world know that no matter what makeup I wear or how much it costs, I do not look stunning and beautiful when the wind is blowing the rain down in my face and on my hair as I am walking to my car. My hair wilts and starts to turn curly, my makeup runs down my face and I am not happy. I am a pissed off cover girl and I look mad. No one wants to see this, it is reality. No one really wants to see anyone in a real situation as they would really look. Why not? I think it would be great to see what other people look like after walking to their car through a flooded parking lot, wind blowing their hair at 60 mph with rain dripping off of them faster than a running faucet. Maybe someone out there does look stunning with their Cover Girl make up on in this situation but I certainly do not. Most people would ask me, what happened to you or the most famous line, you look tired. No matter what you look like, people will just say, you look tired. I am not f'in tired, I have been beaten down by rain and wind and I am wet.
As for the girls on the Cover Girl commercials - sorry, this is just not real. Put them to the real test, send them to a hurricane area and let them all loose, pick them up in a hour and see what they look like then! This is what I want to see.
No one picks me up in a limo and takes me to a salon where someone does my hair and makeup and dresses me and then says smile, your a beautiful breezy covergirl! I think in real life, she is probably ugly, farting in the breeze and under the covers!
My life, NOT as a Cover Girl.....
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